What is the spotlight effect?

We overestimate how much other people notice and remember about us — our appearance, mistakes and behaviour.

The mechanism is egocentric: we experience our own selves at the centre of our attention all the time, then wrongly assume everyone else's attention is aimed there too. In reality, other people are starring in their own spotlight and barely registering ours.

Example: You spill coffee on your shirt and feel certain the whole room is staring and judging. Most people didn't notice, and the few who did forgot within minutes — because they're preoccupied with their own day, not yours.

Tip: When dread of being watched holds you back, remember the "illusion of transparency": people see and remember far less of you than your own self-focus insists.